Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Trystan's avatar

Seems a bit tiring and uninspired to think about "pro" or "anti" natalism as any sort of guide to whether or not to have a child.

As a Dad to two young kids myself, children are simply a peculiar form of Friendship if you can think about the nature of relationships outside of the norm. My kids give me an enormous philosophical benefit as ever present and urgent reason for which to philosophize practically and in the deeply personal why in which Epicureans ought to. Responsibility, rather than the mere vain ideations of power, can be a force in ones life to achieve maturation and virtue. The kids are also endless founts of joy, laughter and worthy reasons to contribute at all to community or "society" or claim a stake in it in any way. Fellow like-minded parents are also shoe-ins for Epicurean friendships where the foundations of such are on the stability of exchanging parenting duties and building the "village". Most relationships not grounded in real and apparent needs are usually nowhere near the quality as their is rarely a good reason for them to be. They also tend to not be challenging, only gravitating to like-minds, whereas some of my closest parent friends believe radically different things about society, family, culture and politics, and ar radically diverse in ethnic or religious foundations; yet we connect on deeper level of the soul as we both share with on another our most deeply profound human connections.

Droning endless about ridiculous notions of "birth rates" of some ludicrous nation or its future culture, or incessant fears of futurity in mulling over future "suffering" ought to ultimately mean absolutely nothing to the question of whether or not someone would actually want children. Most people opine about their kid perhaps having to get a job one day... Do these people even philosophize about the problem of making money in ways that are pleasant? Have they never had a pleasant job? It's willfull, depressive or ignorant thinking and I am someone seeks pleasant workplaces above all and manage to find them easily enough... Also to an Epicurean.... Death ought to be Nothing to us and to raise a person to embody the telos as one does then to look upon a child living blessedly is always and will forever be enough for us. I live with my children in such a way that everyday was worth living.

My long time and committed lover just happened to have the substance of a great Mom and so having Children was more a shot at having deeply impactful relationships and nothing else beyond rising to the challenge of earning enough to have space to live and thrive was ever needing to be decided. From then on tending to their lives and our own through Epicurean philosophizing for the self (and not "Greece") and reasoning about pleasant living has always and ever been the parenting method... even for folks not particularly well off like ourselves. The Good is Easy to Get.

Expand full comment
Matthias E's avatar

I used to be surprised that Epicureans considered friendship to be more natural than family relationships.

Later I understood what they meant. Genuine friendly affects and connections are ultimately the real bonds between people. A purely kinship relationship says nothing about mutual sympathy.

Example: There are relatives who have become more enemy than friend to each other.

Expand full comment
2 more comments...

No posts